First Impressions: try not to be so crazy.

I have been going to a different studio.  1) because I have 20 included free classes at YogaTree with the YTT 2) because I think its a good idea to see different styles and ways people teach, etc, and 3) because the Groupon was a stupid good deal, and I'm saving a ton of money. 

Im going to a "hot yoga" studio.  I have no idea where these things came from or why they are so popular, but honestly it's harder to find a studio that isn't heated these days than it is to find a hot one.  It is full of lululemon girls.  which UGH.  Kill me.  It's not just that lululemon clothes are stupid expensive and status-symboly bullshit, but because that company and the people who run it are devils and there is nothing yogic about them at all.  Here read this: Boycott Lululemon  (and yes I know they replaced the CEO, that's like Walmart replacing the CEO, not enough to stop sucking ass).  BUT I give all these girls (okay most of them) the benefit of the doubt.  I believe it is great they are doing yoga, regardless of any less-than-enlightened reasons for doing it, and I am glad they are there.  Onto more important issues: I've only gone three times to this new studio, but I have already been reminded on some glaring problems I have with some yoga teachers.

Disclaimer, I'm aware that some of this is coming from the innate fear of change I have brought with me to this studio, and I am trying to be patient as I learn to love these new teachers and understand their lingo, etc.
But here is my advice to my future yoga teacher self or any of you currently teaching out there.

1.  DON'T drip sweat on new students.
2.  DO introduce yourself and ask your students' names.  It goes a million miles toward being someone that person wants to like.  I actually get all anticipatory of the introductory conversation, how I'll smile and tell them that I'm new to the studio but not to yoga, maybe mention my shoulder has been acting up today... but the conversation doesn't come.  They just start class, and they have this stupid look on their face, and I hate the patronizing way they just smiled at me.  (see how the end of that sentence could probably have been avoided)
3.  DON'T be patronizing, even if, no, ESPECIALLY IF you are dealing with a new student who has no idea what you are talking about or has trouble following your vague instructions.  Be very careful, in fact, of even sounding the least bit patronizing; work harder than you think you need to to not sound like you think the person is a child.  There is a very fine line between a soothing yoga teacher voice, and the voice we use to mock console a toddler who just fell on his face. 
4. DON'T overuse unique words.  Even words that were okay once or twice become really outlandish and irritating if you say them for every movement.  I don't want to "undulate" into my up-dog.  That sounds creepy.  Leave me alone.

but DO "Use your authentic voice."

This is one of the things we talk about in my training.  If you aren't you, teaching the class you want to teach, it won't work.  Maybe you'll complete a class, and maybe it will even be  pretty good one that some people enjoy, but it won't work out in the end.  You won't be relateable or human and that can turn a lot of students off.  You won't feel at ease and it will translate to the practice.  And frankly, you probably won't enjoy yourself, so why teach yoga at all?  If you teach the way that works for you and are true to yourself, probably some students won't love your class and won't come back.  That's okay.  If I don't connect with a teacher, it's my choice to not come back, they shouldn't try to change what they feel is important for me to stick around. 

Except the sweating on people thing, check yo'self.


Namaste.

Sacrifice

For those of you not fully versed in the history of yoga, I offer you a very brief intro:  A thousand or so  years before Christ (isn't that still what BC means?)  There were a bunch of teachings or "vedas."  They said all sorts of crazy stuff.  The really early ones (3000 BCish)said a lot about fire sacrifices and chanting priests.  But then after that stuff, the "Upaneshads" offered some new theories about what sort of sacrifice was necessary to connect to your Divinty.  There is the all-so-important sacrifice of the ego or closely related sacrifice of your actions (ala the Bhagavad Gita), but to many of the early followers and students, there was also the sacrifice of "earthly pleasures."  This meant that to truly study and and find your higher Self, you should remove yourself from society and go off into the woods and study and wear simple clothes and basically starve yourself all the time.  It looked like this:






Luckily for me, most modern "Westernized" yogic practices have moved past this understanding of sacrifice.  A lot of Tantric practices even encourage you to partake. Read some Osho stuff... he's ALL ABOUT THE PLEASURE (sometimes to a gross point).

Anyways, this is all only pertinent because I unknowingly signed up for A LOT of sacrifice.  There is obviously the sacrifice of a bunch of time and money, which I happily signed up for, but I have also come face to face with a real and difficult problem.  I cannot get a job.  I have one part time job that DOES NOT pay my bills, and I really don't enjoy but am hanging on to for long-term reasons.  I actually would happily quit that job if something better came along, but I'm not even upset that I still don't have a "career."  I am upset because I just want to be a barista (or a bartender).  I thought it'd be no problem to pick up a couple shifts somewhere.  But apparently, noon to 6 on Saturday and Sunday is an unacceptable time to not be around. This week alone I had three great interviews, each ending with the inevitable "We think you would be a really great fit here and would love to have you on, but we can't hire you with your 'limited availability'."  Which 1) that's using "limited" quite loosely.  There are literally 12 hours I can't work all week and am completely available at all other times and 2) fuck you.

I am an awesome employee.  I FUCKING LOVE making coffee and getting up at 5:30 in the morning to do it.  I am way too smart to have career aspirations like barista or bartender, and will be able to run your store more efficiently than you are currently running it in less than a month.  I honestly like smiling at everybody who walks in your door and trying to help them have a great day.  I know that it makes more sense for them to hire someone who can work whenever, so they can be a lazy asshole when they make their schedule and not worry about thinking too hard about it.  I completely understand where they are coming from, but FUUUUUUUUUCK.   I am so tired of resumes and interviews (which why don't you just ask me on the phone if I'm available weekends, or better yet, read the goddamned online form it took me 45 minutes to fill out that asked for my availability?).  I am tired of not being able to buy new clothes when all my old ones have holes.  I am tired of staying home to save money, and skipping brunch, because what do I look like a Customer Service representative?  I don't have that kind of cash!  I am really tired of craftily convincing people to buy me beers at bars and then being sheepish about accepting them.  I'm tired.

So anyways, to do my YTT I am sacrificing a lot.  It kind of blows. 

Sorry for whining.  Namaste.